Sink or Swim

I don't have any kids of my own- not sure that I even want any, but that's a topic for another day- however that didn't stop me from pulling Mommy duty for my niece and nephew at the swimming pool today.

Both Paul and Allegra are signed up for swim lessons and, since my brother Rafe and sister-in-law Laura are away for their anniversary, Auntie Steele got to babysit for a couple of hours. Actually the kids call me 'Anti-Steele' because I'm such a push-over around them. [Don't let it get out though. It will wreck my rep].

So all of the kids line up at the water's edge because on the first day they are tested on their skills and or comfort level. My nephew Paul loves the bath tub, but can't stand the idea of going under, so he was placed in one of the beginner's classes. My girl Allegra is part fish though. She's not that great a swimmer but she's fearless and so was put into a more intermediate class.

All of this took time though. More time than it damn well should have because the spawns of one woman were screaming bloody murder and fighting the instructor. Now, a person with more than two brain cells to rub together would have taken the precious demons away and tried some other time. But no. The woman plops herself down at the edge of the pool to cuddle the little monsters, who by the way, refuse to stop screaming.

This is, of course, a huge distraction to the other little ones who now all want their mommies to sit on the side of the pool too. The instructors should have told the woman to back the fuck off and take her brats with her, but didn't. So under the guise of handing Paul his swim goggles, I accidentally knocked the woman into the water.

Yeah. She didn't believe it was an accident, either.